Relationships

Dark Night Sky by Mr T in DC

The end is just as important as the start, if not more so. This applies to many areas in life especially relationships, where a bad end can have lasting damage. Relationships usually start with great care. Even if there are a few minor hiccups, the start must be reasonably good for the relationship to survive and thrive. But if things sour midway leading to the end of a relationship, the end is rarely as good as the start.

Everything has a start and an end. With each end comes a new beginning. This is the way of the world and the natural order of things. But here lies the problem. If an end is not really the end, then the new beginning cannot really be a new beginning. This is especially so for romantic relationships.

Thus, if things have degenerated to a point where there must be an end, then it is best to end things well. Only by doing so can both parties move on and have a fresh start. Before we look at how to bring about a good end, let us take a closer look at why a good end is important.
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Cornsweet Illusion by Fibonacci

Many of the changes that we face in life involve people. After all, their choices and our choices create the reality around us. It is therefore important to ensure, as far as possible, that we have good relationships with the people who appear in our lives. This makes it easier for us to achieve our goals and to flow with change.

But before we proceed further, please look at the picture above. What do you see? Is the colour the same shade throughout?
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True Heart by Fangol

There will be instances in life that require you to win over people who oppose you and gain their sincere support. It is possible to gain compliance through bribes, fear and the use of force. But this is not sincere support. In any case, you will never be able to win hearts and minds in this manner. Instead, this lack of true support may cause problems for you in the future. For example, people might withdraw their support for you at key points due to a lack of loyalty.

What should you do in this case? You must move people with your sincerity. Specifically, you must show them your true heart.
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1-Percent Tip by Huffington Post

I came across an article where a banker left a 1% tip in defiance of “the 99%” at a restaurant. According to his dining partner, the banker “tips exactly 1% every time he feels the server does not sufficiently bow down to his Holiness.” He also makes sure to include a “tip” of his own. This “tip” was to tell the server to “get a real job.”

Clearly, there are all kinds of people in this world. But it is the dangers of pride that concerns me here. Pride can happen to anyone, not just the rich and powerful. If we allow our pride to get the better of us, our downfall is not far off.
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Happy People by Mike Cogh

Have you ever said the wrong thing at the wrong time and place? What did it cost you? Have you ever regretted what you said once you faced the consequences of your words? What did you have to do to make amends? How did saying the wrong thing affect your relationships?

We could avoid many problems in life if only we were more tactful. Being tactful involves not only what we say, but how and when we say it. To understand the importance of being tactful, let us examine tactfulness in detail first.
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Letters by Muffet

The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they’re still alive. -Orlando A. Battista

I have always liked to read. It is through the writings and records of others that I can see and experience things that are not possible otherwise. Take history for example. By reading the writings of long ago, I am able to travel the world to bygone eras in a flash.

But history is not the only thing I like to read. What I really appreciate is letters from loved ones. Our time here on Earth is finite. We never know which precious moment will be our last. Yet for some strange reason, we do not make full use of each moment. We do not let our loved ones know how much we appreciate them as often as we should. While telling them verbally is the minimum requirement, it is better to let them know through letters from time to time. It is only through writing that we can immortalize our thoughts and feelings.
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Sharing their Inner Worlds by Horton Group

The way we perceive and remember events is unique to us. Two people can share a unique and pleasant experience together and yet walk away with different memories of that event. Let us say that a couple had a wonderful date together. This does not mean that they will have the exact same view or memories of events. Their memories might focus on different parts of the date that matters to them. As time passes, they might remember the date in different ways for different reasons.

Memories are unique. It links our past, present and future together with all those who are a vital part of our lives. But the sad truth is that no one will really know what our full thoughts and memories are except ourselves. That is unless we do something about it.
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Happy Couple by Millicent Bystander

Having your loved one by your side gives great meaning to your life. Yet many relationships and marriages are unhappy, ending in break ups and divorce. To worsen matters, there is also the issue of cheating. Not only do men do it, but in this age of gender equality, women do so as well. But here, cheating is merely the symptom or the result of a bigger unresolved problem or problems in the relationship. Is living happily ever after a myth? Is there no way to find that perfect someone to share your love? What then can you do to have the relationship you deserve?
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Quarrel by Jonah Sng

I have been watching my favourite drama serial Return of the Condor Heroes lately. In the course of the show, I noticed that misunderstandings advance the story. For some reason or other, the male and female lovers always seem to get the wrong idea. As a result, they have many partings and reunions. How differently things would have turned out if they had taken the trouble to clarify their doubts.

In one scene, the female lead chances upon her lover while he is putting on a show. His aim is to mediate a conflict between two brothers. But due to the lie he made up, the female lead assumes he no longer loved her and leaves in tears. While the scene makes a very dramatic story, it is just as easy for us to get the wrong idea in real life. What then can we do to avoid misunderstandings?
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Helping Hand by Lusi

The old saying goes that no one is an island. At some point or other, we will have to ask for help because there are too many things that we cannot know. We will need to rely on the expertise of others. Now, the way we ask for help affects the quality and extent of help that we will receive. If we do so in a half-hearted or off-putting manner, we are unlikely to get the help we need. Even if we did get help, it will not be whole-hearted which can make a lot of difference. But if we ask for help with sincerity, we are likelier to get the help we need. To illustrate this point, I would like to share a favourite story of mine.
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