In life, there is only one right way that things should go and that is our way. We want to get what we want when we want it. But life has a mind of its own and seldom conforms to our will. No matter how well we lay our plans, things rarely go as planned. I would know. I have laid careful plans only to watch my world crumble around me when they turned out otherwise. What then can we do to ensure that things turn out well? Here are some suggestions from my personal experience that will help you to manage better.
Never put all your eggs in one basket or all your hopes on one option. Watching your one plan or idea fail is a bitter pill to swallow. Having no other alternative makes this reality even more devastating. Always have a backup plan or alternatives that you can fall back on. This helps to lower the expectations you have so that you can cope better if things do not go your way. Yes, we should lay the best plans we can and hope for the best. But if things do not go well, we have other contingency plans to cope as well. Having multiple plans and options is the mark of any successful person.
Remember the Big Picture
When things do not go the way we plan, it is easy to lose sight of the big picture and bemoan our fate. This is especially so when we are heavily invested in the outcome. But bad news might actually be good news. For example, our muscles and endurance can only grow when we tax them to the limits. The soreness that follows is a sign that our bodies are adapting to cope with the stress we place on it. Likewise, we may lack the capacity to handle a new enterprise initially. Thus, we have to go through certain hardships to acquire the needed skills to cope. So even if things do not go the way we hope initially, it may well be another necessary step towards our goals. This in turn is part of the larger process of success.
Patience for Process
Everything unfolds at its own time and place. We must allow development to take its proper course. Being hasty and trying to speed things up is often counter-productive. In our haste, we might cut corners and miss a few steps that are vital to the process. We cannot hurry the growth of a tree or the growth of children. They must go through all the stages at their own pace. Likewise, we cannot hurry events. We can only do what we can to ensure that the process unfolds properly. Here patience is important because the last thing we would want is to have to correct needless mistakes made due to haste.
Focus on the Solution, Not the Problem
When things do not turn out as planned, it is easy to be stuck wishing it were otherwise. Instead of focusing on the solution, we focus on the problem. But we do not have the luxury of time. With each moment that passes, the problem could get bigger if we do not do something about it. This is especially so if we are right in the middle of a crisis. Even so, if we can train ourselves to find the answer and channel our energies in that direction, we should be able to handle most things.
The Importance of Knowing Early
All the points above work well enough when things do not go our way. But if we knew in advance that things would not go as planned, it would tilt the scales further to our advantage.
Knowing early is important. Whether things turn out well or not, we need to know early. The earlier we know the outcome, the more time we have to adapt and adjust. Additionally, we also have more time to recover our wits from despair or shock. The moment we add our intent and actions to events already in motion, the signs are there to tell us the outcome. By reading these signs early through divination, we will derive the following benefits.
1. More Time to Pre-empt and Prepare
If we know where our plans will go wrong in advance, we can take measures to correct those problems. Or if it is a matter of timing, we could abandon or defer the plan and change our actions. In the meantime, we could focus on other things instead. The main point is that knowing early will save us the trouble and costs of making needless mistakes.
2. Focus On Key Areas
Knowing how things will turn out in advance allows us to focus. We only have so much energy and resources to devote to any enterprise. If we are unsure of what is important, it means we have to spread out our resources to many areas. As a result, we could end up wasting some of these resources on areas that do not matter. But by divining the outcome, we can foresee which areas are vital to our success. With this knowledge, we can concentrate our efforts on these areas and use our limited resources more wisely.
Knowing Early in Practice: Interviews
To illustrate the benefits of knowing early, I shall share my personal experience with job interviews. I never liked going for interviews. Despite my careful preparations, I was still walking into the unknown. After all, I had to show the interviewers why I was the best person for the job but I could not be sure what they were looking for. Sure, there was the job description. But from my experience, I knew that the job description never really conveyed the true picture. Interviewers might have hidden criteria that could make or break my chances. Not knowing what to expect meant that I fumbled and wasted many chances when questions took me by surprise.
Then I learned divination and things changed. At first, I was uncertain of using it for interviews. After all, how could divination improve my chances? But I was desperate and I had nothing to lose so I prepared as best as I could and divined the outcome. And what a difference it made! Although I was skeptical at first, the interview unfolded as I had divined. I knew how the interview would proceed and which areas the interviewers would focus on. All I had to do was to say what they wanted to hear to convince the interviewers that I was the right person for the job. Soon enough I got a call from the company and I got the job. Take a moment and imagine how your life would be different if you knew in advance how an important meeting would turn out.
The Art of Seizing Opportunities
There are many sayings out there, about how we must seize opportunities. This is simply because opportunities are rare. If we miss the moment, we may never get a second chance. Being prepared is one thing. But knowing how to make the best of each opportunity determines whether you will benefit from it or waste it. Knowing which risk to take determines whether you will bask in glory or suffer injuries as a result.
We cannot control events because we cannot control everything that is in motion. The permutations and combinations are beyond human comprehension. It is not something that we can foresee with logic alone. There is also no way we can get every person around us to conform to our will. This is why we learn to accept our helplessness in the face of events. This is why we have to leave ourselves at the mercy of the fates after we prepare as best as we can.
But it does not have to be this way. It is true that we cannot control events, but we can better manage our reactions to them. Consider my interview experience above. How can I as an interviewee, tell the interviewer who to hire or what criteria he should look for? These events are outside my control and I must accept them. But, I can control my reactions to events if I know early enough what is to happen. In this case, I can show the interviewer I am the person for the job by focusing the on aspects that he wants to see. Likewise, if you know early what each situation demands, you can seize opportunities by focusing on those needs.
What do you do when things do not go your way? What other ways of coping have I missed out? Do share your thoughts and comments below.