Jan 172012
Sharing their Inner Worlds by Horton Group

The way we perceive and remember events is unique to us. Two people can share a unique and pleasant experience together and yet walk away with different memories of that event. Let us say that a couple had a wonderful date together. This does not mean that they will have the exact same view or memories of events. Their memories might focus on different parts of the date that matters to them. As time passes, they might remember the date in different ways for different reasons.

Memories are unique. It links our past, present and future together with all those who are a vital part of our lives. But the sad truth is that no one will really know what our full thoughts and memories are except ourselves. That is unless we do something about it.

The Problem with Filters

It is no secret that each of us sees the world through our own unique filters. Our natures, environment, influences and experiences make us who we are. We are unique in our own ways. As such, two people may never see the same event in the same way.

This is something we all know and realize subconsciously. But it is also easy to forget this in our daily lives. More often than not, we take it for granted that others see things the way we do. We assume that the people who are close to us appreciate and understand our perspectives. Yet no one is a mind reader. Unless, they hear it from us, how can anyone know what we really think or feel? How can anyone know the full extent of our experiences unless we share our inner worlds?

The Benefits of Sharing Your Inner World

Sharing your memories, your inner world is the best gift you can give to your loved ones. After all, this is who you are and how you see the world. It is the gift of your very self. It is also the best gift you can receive from a loved one. Taking the time and effort to share with your loved ones brings the following benefits.

1. The Blessing and Comfort of Understanding

What you share reveals more of your inner world to your loved ones. By listening to you, they will come to understand you much better. They will appreciate how you see things and what you like. They will know the reasons behind your actions and choices. In time, they might be able to see the world through your eyes because they know you that well. One of the greatest blessings and comforts in life is to have people who understand you and vice versa.

2. Strengthens Bonds and Deepens Relationships

I am sure all of us have had positive influences from our loved ones. While we may not fully embrace their passion for something, we cannot look at that same thing with indifference either. After all, it reminds us of the person. Let us say that someone close to you has a passion for cooking. In the unlikely event that you eat to live like me, you will still associate cooking and food with that person and remember it fondly. You might even have a favourite dish that you enjoy.

Your influence remains with your loved ones once you share that part of yourself and vice versa. This deepens bonds and strengthens relationships because it forms another connection. If we cannot share our inner worlds with the people we love, with whom will we share it? So share often and connect more.

3. Enriches Experiences

When we gain new insights about something, it deepens our understanding and enriches our experience. It is the same with sharing a memory or event. When we share our inner worlds, it gives people a deeper perspective. Done well, they will see the event through our eyes. And if it was a shared experience, this further sharing will deepen and enrich that memory. This in itself also creates another beautiful memory and experience.

Sharing by Drew Herron

How to Share Your Inner World

Sharing your inner world may or may not come naturally to you. But in truth, there is no right or wrong way to go about it. So there is no need to be shy or self-conscious about it. It may require some practice, but you will get better in time. Always remember to provide a background for what you are sharing. Something that makes perfect sense to you may not make any sense to others if they do not know what happened before. If you are having trouble expressing yourself, you may use the following guidelines as needed.

-Why was the memory or event special to you?
-What was so special about the memory or event?
-What makes this memory or event different from others?
-How did it make you feel?
-How did you past experiences in life influence this memory or event?

Taking Action

All we have in life are moments. We never know which moment may be our last. So seize the moments to create beautiful memories and experiences. Seize the moments later to share further to enrich past memorable events. Aim to have your loved ones see things through your eyes. Aim to see the world through the eyes of your loved ones. Share and listen well. Who knows what chain of events this sharing together will set off? It may lead to even more memories and bonds together.

Do you share your inner world with your loved ones? How do you do so? What was the experience like? Did it deepen and strengthen bonds? Do share your thoughts and comments below! :)

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  30 Responses to “Sharing Your Inner World to Enrich Memories and Experiences”

  1. Such a beautiful text! I totally agree, sharing your inner world with somebody is the biggest and most personal gift to somebody who you love. That’s why we don’t do it too often. But if somebody deserves it, it is really a close relation.
    Catwoman recently posted..fogpótlásMy Profile

    • Hi Catwoman,

      Indeed, only a select few are truly deserving of sharing our inner world. Not everyone has the ability or the intention to appreciate it.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  2. What a beautiful article! Thank you.

    After my mother died, my sister wrote a book about being with first a friend and then my mother through the process of dying. The book is titled “Perfectly Still.” While our memories of specifics are different, I hugely appreciate her sharing her impressions of a shared time that was deeply felt by us both. Many readers of her book have felt connected by her words though a difficult time of their own. To me, that is also a value of blogs, that we benefit from the sharing of our thoughts, perhaps doubts, and aspirations, Thanks again for the reminder.

    I’ve been drawn to your blog through your always enlightening comments at Deliberateblog.com. I’ll be back!

    Mary Carol

    • Hi Mary Carol,

      Thank you for stopping by at Han of Harmony! :)

      Yes, the memory of specifics differ from person to person. It never ceases to amaze me how books or writings can connect us with events in the distant past. Through the eyes of the authors we can step into a world within worlds that we may otherwise not have access to. This experience can transcend even time and space.

      Your sister has written a wonderful book about a theme that is familiar to all. I am sure that every reader who picks it up will gain insights into managing difficult periods of their own.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  3. Hi Irving,
    Sharing our inner world with others is a powerful way to see our own insanities. You cannot advance your life in the direction of your dreams without making right decisions. You cannot make right decisions until you make your inner world of thoughts and feelings a place where the counterfeit self cannot survive. When we share that inner chatter with others we set up an inner system in which the counterfeit self is exposed for the faker it is. When this system is healthy, the authentic self is able to spontaneously express through
    one’s personality. How marvelous is that?
    rob white recently posted..The Best Wish You Can Ever HaveMy Profile

    • Hi Rob,

      It is hard to be fully aware of what is going on inside our heads when we keep things in there. There are so many corners for our insanities to hide in and grow. But once we share and bring our thoughts into the open, we can see them for what they truly are. We can separate the false from the true. This is the best way to have a healthy system. And once we have a healthy system, we can express our authentic self as you say.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  4. Hi Irving,

    What a lovely post! I agree with what you say. By sharing our inner worlds, we connect with people. It’s a great way to make a new friend, by sharing something about ourselves so it makes the other person comfortable.

    And memories from different perspectives is so amazing. Whenever I meet up with two of my best friends from university we always remember the ‘old days’ and each of us remembers something the others forgot!
    Hiten recently posted..Bouncing Back from Interview RejectionsMy Profile

    • Hi Hiten,

      Sharing something from our inner worlds is indeed a great way to connect with new friends. It allows them to understand us better and to see things from our perspective. With this shared experience, the foundation for a new friendship is formed.

      It is amazing isn’t it? I too have had the experience where old friends remember an aspect of an event that I forgot. It certainly helps to deepen bonds and understandings through this sharing.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  5. We certainly do some of these in our family. It’s how we communicate and try to reach a new level of understanding with each other. I enjoy asking my children about their reflections over some holiday or school day they had. It’s a way of remembering and practicing gratitude for the good times enjoyed. My children have to name their favorite part and give a reason why.

    It’s certainly a great idea to share our inner worlds. We reach new levels of understanding of each other. It aids in bonding.

    Excellent advice, Irving!
    Evelyn Lim recently posted..101 Ways to Love Your LifeMy Profile

    • Hi Evelyn,

      I love the way you are guiding your children in their growth and development.

      During their young and impressionable years, it is important to be vigilant to ensure that they pick up beneficial values and beliefs for their lives ahead. It is also a fun way to bond with your children by listening to them and giving them a chance to express themselves. They will certainly become better people because of this.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  6. Hi Irving. This is great wisdom, and I would imagine from your posts that you have some absolutely outstanding relationships with people in your life. Sharing our thoughts and innermost world with people lets them into US. It lets our walls down and it lets lights come on in darkness. We are in this world and on this journey together, and our very being is TIED to those relationships. There’s a level of trust that comes into the picture with this. Beautifully done, my friend.
    Bryan Thompson recently posted..Have You Kept Your Resolution? Here are 4 Ways to Create Lasting ChangeMy Profile

    • Hi Bryan,

      It is a select few, but I have certainly formed deep friendships for which I am most grateful.

      I believe that trust has to be given before it can be received. If no one makes the first move then nothing happens. And what better way is there to build trust than to show trust by sharing a part of our lives with others? It will likely lead to deeper understanding and stronger bonds that serve as the foundation of every successful relationship.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  7. Hi Irving,

    I like the fact that I have kids – I am so often reminded of things that I enjoyed as a child or experiences that I had then, that otherwise would be forgotten if it hadn’t somehow come up in my childrens’ lives. Of course I never miss the opportunity to share with them my “brilliant insights” as well. I like to think that they may actually even listen to me when I regale them with those tales :)
    Julie | A Clear Sign recently posted..Don’t Let Ascension Fool You Into Changing All Your RelationshipsMy Profile

    • Hi Julie,

      Yes, watching kids reminds me of my time as a kid. So many memories come rushing back as I compare my experiences with theirs. It sure is fun telling kids stories from our experiences. As they are young and receptive, this is the best time to share certain lessons in life that will help them in the future. That said, there is a certain innocence that children have which is very precious and which we must protect for as long as we can.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  8. This is a beautiful reminder to let yourself be vulnerable and open. I remember reading a quote somewhere that said, every meeting is an opportunity to reveal the real you and have tried to take it to heart.
    Joan recently posted..GoPro HD HERO CameraMy Profile

    • Hi Joan,

      That is a beautiful quote you have shared.

      Indeed every meeting is an opportunity to reveal the real you.

      This may have a life-changing impact on others for the better when we least expect it.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  9. Hello Vizier,

    Great post and perfectly timed for me for this morning as I walked the beach I thought to myself the risk of appearing the fool with our relationships for saying what we want to say in our heart and not hold back due to fear for anything out of fear is not divine.

    I love this part: “All we have in life are moments. We never know which moment may be our last. So seize the moments to create beautiful memories and experiences. Seize the moments later to share further to enrich past memorable events. Aim to have your loved ones see things through your eyes. Aim to see the world through the eyes of your loved ones. Share and listen well. Who knows what chain of events this sharing together will set off? It may lead to even more memories and bonds together.”

    I have written my own blog of living life at it’s fullest by truly living in the moment for that is all we are guaranteed.

    I share my inner world with loved ones by living in that moment without fear and coming from a place of LOVE…..I like to call it the ripple effect – you never know what will come out of living in YOUR truth and being there to listen.

    Living in the possibilities,
    Nancy Shields recently posted..LIVING LIFE OUT LOUD AND SLOWING DOWN….My Profile

    • Hi Nancy,

      Thank you for stopping by at Han of Harmony.

      While it may make sense to hold back with strangers, it isn’t prudent to hold back with the people closest to us when it comes to sharing our inner worlds. Of course tact is necessary in the delivery, but there shouldn’t be unnecessary barriers that will stifle trust and sharing.

      Indeed every choice and action we take creates ripples in life as they intersect and interact with the choices and actions of others. It is therefore important to always live out of our truth, to listen and to share with the people closest to us. This can only make for better and deeper relationships.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  10. You know I never shared my inner world with anyone really for such a long time. As you know, I didn’t even really access it much myself. Even after I did become more self aware, I didn’t share much of my inner world with my kids. I kept a good boundary between adult and child. However, I saw as they got older that they really didn’t know me very much at all. Now that they are grown, I am more open with my heart and spirit with them, and especially with Mia since she has become a mom herself. It has deepened and strengthened our relationship so much.

    My dad was such an unknown person to me, even though he was there in my life. I wish now that he had shared more of himself with me and that I had made more of an effort to seek out his inner life. So for all your readers, I hope they will take your advice to heart and share now!
    Galen Pearl recently posted..In the SoftnessMy Profile

    • Hi Galen,

      The boundary between an adult and child is a tricky thing. If the boundary is too thick, there will be distance. If it is too thin, it can cause problems in the relationship. It is a fine line to walk, but I am sure we can still share our inner worlds and yet maintain a certain boundary that is necessary for things to run smoothly.

      I am happy to read that your relationship with Mia has grown. Our relationships and connections here in this world is a beautiful experience we must treasure. The moments we have will not last forever.

      I am sorry to read about your relationship with your dad. We cannot change the past, but we can affect the present and hence the future. By sharing and being open with your children now, you ensure they will come to know you better and not experience what you did with your dad. That too is his contribution and continued influence in your life.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  11. Interpersonal connections can be very beneficial when we open up to the right people around us.

    As Julie and Galen pointed out, sharing with our children can really strengthen bonds and promote growth for everyone involved. Excellent!
    Jason Anthony recently posted..Come On, Come On, Lets Work TogetherMy Profile

    • Hi Jason,

      Opening up to the right people is important. Not everyone can or will appreciate what we share.

      I agree. It is vital to nurture children by sharing with them. They represent the next generation and the future of humankind. Their development is not something we can take lightly.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  12. Hi Irving,

    When I started this journey blogging, I would learn the importance of sharing ones inner world. In those moments you not only share a piece of yourself with the person taking in your memories, but you are able to open yourself up and show a side of vulnerability with the person who’ll listen to those memories.

    In writing my first book, I’m finding that I am sharing a lot of those memories and experiences for the first time in my life, as well. This has been extremely helpful for me and I would even go on to say that I’m a better person today because of it.

    Holding all of those experiences in is not a good thing for any of us; we are a communicative people. We thrive when we communicate with one another.

    Whether they are good, fun, or happy experiences, or if they fall on the other end of the stick; we go through them so that we might share them with others. If we don’t share them, they are much like a new book on an unreachable shelf. And I’ve always believed, that a book that goes unread is not a book, it carries the title of being one, but it’s not a book until it is read. The same goes for us sharing our inner world, they aren’t truly memories if they aren’t shared as such. :)
    Deeone recently posted..Friends: Men and Women of Iron Part 1My Profile

    • Hi Deeone,

      Sharing your memories and experiences will indeed be helpful and beneficial to all those who listen to them. There is so much we can share and teach. Much would be lost if we didn’t to the detriment of others.

      I agree with you. A book that goes unread is wasted. A life that is not shared will never be known and will never touch others. We have a responsibility to share our experiences and to light the way for others.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  13. Hi Vizier,
    I think this is one of the reasons why social media is such a huge success. Most people naturally wants to share.
    When you read a great article, watched a great movie, read a good book, you instantly think of the person or persons that you know will also appreciate it.
    I know I am happiest when there’s a large gathering of my family and get to share great food and good stories with them.
    There’s a deeper value and meaning when something is shared.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
    Theresa Torres recently posted..Super Bowl Scams: Credit Cards Can Protect Football FansMy Profile

    • Hi Theresa,

      That is a great insight. Yes it is true just looking from social media alone that most people naturally want to share. How facebook has changed the world hasn’t it? Whenever I come across something I like, I can “like” it on facebook and share it with all my friends.

      A large gathering with family brings great warmth. I am glad to know that you have such a wonderful and loving family. :)

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  14. Before having kids, I couldn’t even think to share my world to somebody. It was entirely mine. I was an introvert and shy person. Then 3 treasures came in a row and suddenly all mine became theirs as well – including my inner world!
    Anna recently posted..dental veneers costMy Profile

    • Hi Anna,

      Kids are special. They are God’s gift to us.

      I am glad that you shared your inner world with your kids when they came along. I am sure they are made richer because of it.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

  15. my friend used to say to me: ‘there is no reality, only perception’. i guess that’s kind of the filter you write about… perhaps we can share the perceptions we have, and facilitate that understanding
    Noch Noch
    Noch Noch | be me. be natural. recently posted..today I laughed: how is business done in China?My Profile

    • Hi Noch Noch,

      That’s true, the way we perceive the world around us is our own unique reality. Because there are so many unique views about the same thing, it is largely a matter of perception and every perception has its merits. If so, it is really about just enjoying the unique perceptions of our loved ones. It is a matter of appreciating how their experiences and influences have given them the unique worldviews that they have.

      Thank you for sharing your lovely comments! :)

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